Stream of Lovable Consciousness

The most simple and beautiful illustrations

Children’s author Bernard Waber passed away. He wrote and illustrated the Lovable Lyle stories. My sister and I read them when we were little. I read them to my little brothers. And now I’ve read them to my children. They’re absolutely perfect in every way.

The reporting on the Oklahoma tornado is grotesque. They’re a half step away from a facebook body count graph where all the idiots will ‘like’ it — Disrespectful and in such poor taste.

Woke up at 7:15 this a.m. and the kids were still asleep. This never happens. Everything was set up so we got dressed, ate cereal and grabbed our lunches on the way out the door. Was just about to put the car in reverse when the kids yelled, “MOM! The garage door’s still shut.” Oh. Yes. Wide awake, kittens. I am wide awake.

Do you know how airline credit cards work? I signed up for two, a visa sponsored by Delta and Citibank with Southwest mile rewards. First time I used a TV advertisement to research credit. Thanks Alec Baldwin! Curious to see if we earn more rewards by daily ok let’s be realistic here weekly/monthly purchases. I could never swipe a credit card daily. NEVER! Just by booking our California trip we have thousands of points. Are these shareable, swappable and redeemable for other items? What do you know?

You wanna hear something cool? I just e-mailed my car. This is from me, the same driver, who used Bluetooth for the first time this year. What? Why? Because until this year I got along with a flip phone while driving a thirteen year old odyssey. It was just how I operated. But now current technology has a hold of me. I feel unlimited power and it is fun a lot of FUN!

School year dragging on for anyone else? I still get to ride a charter bus with two third grade classes to our statehouse to meet the Governor and…AND…AND volunteer for field day which for any parent who has done this before knows the joy I speak of. Pure joy I tell you. I have end of the year class party bags ready for the sweet sweet sweet faced k5er’s. Is it too weird to put sunscreen in each one? Just a mini SPF…take my job as room mother very seriously.

This is to you, a certain reader.
I know you’re goading me. You. Yeah, you. I won’t take the bait. You should get your own photo ideas, by the way.

Hubs has been working on the new X4 during the day people, THE DAY. He worked like a normal professional. It lasted about three days now he’s back to vampire shift. Shift ‘A’ likes him a lot. They put in a good work for him to transfer to the design team. You know what that might mean? Future travel to Germany for the design team. I can hope, right? Ich hoffe, dieser Traum wird wahr – I hope this dream comes true!

My lunch was parmesan goldfish and a tuna salad mixed with sriracha and a side of fresh fruit.
What’s on your lunch menu?

Being Still

http://earthsky.org/tonight#.UZTlUJPCtcM

We have apps. We have websites. We have satellites. Best of all we have beautiful glowing night lights.

We can go outside. Lay back. Stargaze. Think wide and far but feel quiet and small, a particle before an infinite rolling existence.

How are we?

Why are we?

Who and what says that we get to have this moment and the millions of breaths stored ahead, waiting for lungs to draw in quick shallows or deep heaving gulps?

A big bang explosion births chaos and destruction not this perfectly set life in spinning algorithms.

When I pause and am still
When I think and feel
Life is wonderful and full
And we
Are ready
And we
Are watching the heavens above

“You, O Lord, are in heaven, but we here on the earth; our being is but of yesterday, and our foundation is of dust.”

Stream of Moving Consciousness

The ‘Laughing Cow’ commercial makes me feel happy!

A bet is awesome. If you’re the winner.

You know what strikes fear into my heart? Nothing. Today.

Raquetball. I want to play some raquetball. I want to play a mean game of raquetball. Anyone?

My coffee intake has changed. This could signal something. Something bad like a heart attack or pending stroke. Or it could just be that summertime is almost here. The thing is a hot cup of coffee when the weather warms isn’t appealing. It’s time to ice with a generous shot of pure coconut.

My baby brother and his wife are traveling by train. Isn’t that beautiful? I love their style. Made a gift bag for them to take — Crosswords, snacks and a little cash for a champagne train toast.

Discovered spray/dry shampoo! I may never shower again. Why was I not using this all.year.long?

What’s got you in motion today?

Stream of The Check’s In the Mail Consciousness

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The check’s in the mail. It’s always in the mail, I know.

Are you the house bookkeeper?
I am. I’m pretty good at scheduling, planning and saving. When we first got married and had three babies on warp speed the hospital bills and higher cost of living set us in a financial tail spin that took years to recover –Paying and promising, lots of promising and paying small amounts and promising more.

Living in a small county had major benefits. Like the time I took all three of my adorable babies into the Electric co-op and told them I couldn’t pay a bill in full and had no idea when I could. The women in accounts receivable took turns holding all of my fat sweet pink babies and then split that bill into four installments that kept our electric on and created an extension for the summer.

That would never have happened in a callous, fast paced city. I highly recommend using your children as props for pity. I also recommend a swallow of pride and asking for help. I had to ask my parents for grocery and gas cash and I was 26. Ouch.

When Hubs changed careers we (family of 5) survived on $13 an hour for a LONG 18 months. I took a job waiting tables at night because nothing else brings in cash faster than service industry. Maybe stripping would have? I’d had a few kids so my abs wouldn’t have been up to par. Hubs could have stripped and MADE money.

He’d roll in the door and I rolled out each of us working ten to twelve hours for chump change to fill our gas tanks to make more chump change to keep the lights on and the babes fed.

Things are easier now. Most of our bills are on auto pay because there is actually enough money to circulate. Yay for us!

Sometimes I mess up the books. This month is out of control. We had two wedding parties to attend and they weren’t registered for gifts so all that’s left is a monetary present. Our auto tax and tag needed to be paid, two repairs to the house, a huge repair to a stupid lawn mower, Mother’s day (mothers and step mothers!) school field trips, school events, class parties and some family birthdays. The bank is busted. We dipped into the sub-savings account and that’s when I get pissy. I imagine a plate of debt and a server apron with my name on it waiting in a dark, dark corner.

We’re waiting on reimbursables from an auto wreck from February! Even though it wasn’t our fault it was all processed through our insurance.

You do not have to accept this. You should raise hell that nothing comes out of your pocket.

We didn’t know we could stomp our feet until the rental car company billed the at fault insurance. We were not aware that the check from our insurance would not include our deductible and that we had to request it.

If you’re involved in an accident and are not at fault I won’t blame you for getting legal help. If we had a legal advisor, not to create a lawsuit but to make sure the insurance company reimburses us we wouldn’t even be in this mess. Each department within claims has to process and communicate between companies and let-me-tell-ya they are in no hurry (3 months and counting). They owe us $900. Hey, it’s our chump change. We want it back.

Do you know how many entrees and rounds of drinks you have to serve to make that? Do you know how many hours of quality control hubs has to complete for that? That’s a lot of typing and personal assisting…

We know. We remember. We remind ourselves we aren’t far from that humble place and that keeps us moving forward. Which is why I resolve to plan ahead and regift future wedding presents and keep my husband in shape in case the stripper pole is around the corner.

What’s the crappiest in-between job you had to take?

Stream of Crappy Consciousness

So ‘crap’ has many translations, right? I’m going with a slang way of saying something is of poor quality.

My blog could be crap to some. My photo uploads are awful and improperly sized with bad borders and no captions. I use outdated widgets. I don’t know how to make my hyperlinks all neat and active. My grammar’s in crap format. I write about my family which is probably crappy and boring to people without family but I don’t give a crap.

I like writing. I’ll write about whatever crap I want. Why does this have to lead to financial success? Isn’t it ok to write without an outline? I get it. People should move forward. Maybe this is how you begin? — A journal to a blog to a story to a novella to a screenplay to a novel to a series to a movie made trilogy to an autobiography–

A friend said, “you have to promote your blog with twitter, facebook and tumbler. You need a youtube channel and a podcast. What about advertising sponsors? Or payments per post? You need a niche. You find a gap in the market and you use that niche to fill it.”

My sister said, “You should make money off your blog.”

My brother said, ” Why don’t you write for a magazine maybe eventually get a column?”

My other friends, brothers and sisters don’t say anything. That’s because they don’t read my crappy (or is it crappily?) written blog.

I have a stack of rejection letters/e-mails from print mags and online zines for articles since 1999. I’ve had one article published and one short story accepted but later cut! (Ha!)

I still like writing. It doesn’t make any money for me. It makes me think. It’s the only place where I don’t have to fix crap.

Why do you write?

I run. You run. He, She, It runs.

2013

2012

The Runner(s)
[W.H. Auden]

All visible visibly
Moving things spin or swing
One of the two move
As the limbs of a runner do
To and fro
Forward and back
Or as they swiftly carry him
In orbit go
Round an endless track…

Boy ran the 5k with his Dad this year. The girls and I did the one mile fun run for our annual school event.

First year I haven’t been in the PTO. First year participating in an event instead of organizing it.
Our family firm sponsored and donated. I was able to get local shops to gift runner prize certificates for top finishers. Hope I don’t sound like I’m tooting my own horn. I find it hard not to help when so many resources are available from family!

It went very well and was neat to see how things flow from the other side. The event has grown since the first race in 2011.

It shouldn’t have surprised me to see how athletic our kids are within their peers. Trying to grasp just how much they change in a year right before our eyes.

“All visible visibly“

On a scale of 1-10…

…how boring is a blog about cleanliness and tidiness? If you’re not too bored already will you tell me how you keep your home clean? Do you have a system or do you wait until the mess is so bad you have to clean for hours?

Now that I work part-time I “maintain” during the week because the last thing we should be doing on the weekend is cleaning. Our pad’s approximately 1,800 square feet. Divide that by 5 able bodied mostly willing people and it isn’t that hard to keep a good balance of clean with clear walking paths.

The kids do the following chores:

Set the table
Clear the table
Dust
Pick up toys/books/crafts
Get clothes to laundry room
Load dishwasher

That earns a dollar allowance based on age. Boy earns $9 a month as long as he keeps up with the list above plus trash duty. The girls earn $7 and $6 per same agreement minus trash duty.

Hubs takes care of ALL the yardwork. 2 acres of mowing with this commercial stand-behind-beast-machine that I can’t physically operate. Plus weedeating, branch trimming and garage organizing. Laundry is my treat — washing, drying, ironing, folding and putting away. I also vacuum, sweep, mop and keep stuff organized. Oh and the bathrooms are sparkling courtesy of yours truly. Everything else I consider comfortable and happy ‘lived in’ status.

What about you?

(I’d give our home a solid 7 with 10 being museum spotless).

What the fajita? Taco noche!

What's Left of Taco Night

Once in a while it’s perfectly acceptable to get drunk off your asada on Taco night. It just is.

Taco night usually falls on Tuesday at our house but due to a surprisingly strong Margarita followed by a disappointingly lukewarm Dos Equis it happened again on Thursday.

No school tomorrow. The district found an extra day for inclement weather. We’re in for the night so kids and parents are off duty.

Mariachi music blared from the little speakers in the kitchen. We seared some beautiful carne asada, sliced mangos, pineapples and squeezed fresh lime. I sipped my drink a little.

Cut the avocados open. Maravilloso verde! Sipped a little.

Blended the medium salsa so the kids will eat it. Sipped a little.

Sang along with the Mariachi band. “Chile Con Queso, Las Mananitas, La Cucuracha” (That is what they’re saying right?) Feel like I’m in ‘Meyhico’. Or Columbia. Definitely Puerrrrrrto Rrrrrrrico.  Sipped a little more.

Who the fajita damn made this mess in my kitchen? Sipped a lot more.

Ate our weight in tacos, blue corn chips and salsa verde.

Laughed at everything the kids said. No. Really. They had some funny mierda to tell from their school day.

Amazing buzz. I swear I could flamenco. ¡Porras! That’s a South American dance. Pretty sure I could own the Macarena right now.

Sipped a leeeetle bit more.

Pandora shuffled from Mariachi to freakin’ Little Richard.

We turned it up and ran outside so we could DANCE our asses off to Tuiti Fruiti. Best. Dance. Song. In. All. The. Lands. Forever.

Of course we took pictures.

I’ll clean up manana.
Mamacita needs siesta.
Beunos noches amigos!
Hasta Leugo.
That’s all the Espanola I knowa.

The Punishment Bathroom

This is the punishment half bathroom ‘A’ and I share. Took the picture in black and white so it looks quaint. Kinda like how realtors describe an expensive tiny house as a bungalow. There isn’t anything cute, quaint or expensive about our bathroom but it is tiny.

We’ve dubbed the shower — prison. No windows. No grout. There are weird plastic shanked towel handles inside prison. It has a very leaky 1982 water spout with two adjustments: rain and pain. No ventilation. No exhaust fan. A really scary drain. If you don’t crack the window by the john everything mildews in twenty seconds flat from shower steam.

Little storage.

No counter space.

Freakishly cold tiles. There are maybe eight floor tiles and they’re always sub zero temp.

The one redeeming feature is the toilet-sink placement. If you’re sick from bad food or too much good tequila you can get sick in total safety. You’re covered on both ends!

In our dreams we design the perfect masterbath. An outdoor jacuzzi inlay on multi levels of teak garden decks, tropical plants, exotic lighting and a sound system all flowing inside to 25,000 no 50,000 square feet of ceiling to floor drawers and cabinets. A spa quality shower, sauna and a dressing lounge — LOUNGE –which doubles as a dance floor with the drop of a disco ball. It will host a respectable bar and plush chaises. Our wardrobes will have remotes to rotate seasons and hosts my personal need of a built-in fully staffed Sephora counter.

We think of that design whenever knocking heads spitting toothpaste simultaneously or elbowing each other trying to get ready.

Do you share a small bathroom?

Could you share it for a long number of years?

Stream of Numeric Consciousness

Feel like counting today…just rollin’ with it. I’m counting the ways I love thee, counting down to the electric bill due date, counting off our taxes, counting in time with the song playing…vha vha vha!

Do you look at the time and connect it with significant dates in your life? Birthdays, anniversaries and now my number thing is glancing at the clock when it’s 7:47. Like a jet. Like time to fly. Time for vacation!

Chased my third (3rd) cup of coffee with cheetos. Gross but necessary.

Crossing at the crosswalk (legally) in front of an office store carrying a dozen (12) or so supplies to return and a truck stopped for me. This guy leans out and yells, “Go on, copperhead.” Ruuuude but I totally dig the insult nickname. Copperhead snakes are dangerous.

“A healthier you is within walking distance” That’s a what a flyer says on my desk for National Walk at Lunch Day — April 25. At least give out free pedometers or something useful.

It’s Fed Ex birthday so serenade your delivery person while signing for that package. At least NPR reported that this a.m. They didn’t say when it was originally founded so I have no actual number of years to list but the corporation (not the concept) was established circa 1970.

Popular search engine "Google" is derived from "Googol" the number one (1) followed by one hundred (100) zeros (0). And a Googolplex is the number one (1) followed by a googol zeros (no visual numeric example, sorry)

Have an excellent Wednesday April 17th!